


Without Hesitance or Consequence

by alphaofallcats



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Art Student Eren Yeager, Blow Jobs, Breaking and Entering, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, Flashbacks, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Smokes, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Wears Glasses, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Not Beta Read, Pining, Public Blow Jobs, Recreational Drug Use, Smoking, Some Fluff, Swearing, since when did i write a lot about cheating omg, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 01:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphaofallcats/pseuds/alphaofallcats
Summary: “I’m sorry.” He looked from Eren to the book, shakily putting it back in its place. “I never wanted to.”“You never wanted to what?”“Make promises I couldn't keep.”





	Without Hesitance or Consequence

**Author's Note:**

> written for the tumblr prompt meme: _of course you’d believe that…_  
>  submitted by the best babe [The Ordinariest](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOrdinariest/pseuds/TheOrdinariest)

The leaves were changing colors when Isabel asked, “Are you fucking that freshman?”

She was laying on his bed, scrolling through her phone while kicking her feet in the air, her gaze suspiciously nonchalant. Farlan was at the desk, using his student ID card to tuck the paper of his joint. 

“I’m not.” He looked away from her, tilting his head so he could blow smoke out the window. At the beginning of the semester, Farlan had preemptively taped a plastic bag over the smoke alarm when they moved into the dorm, but the night breeze felt nice and Levi didn’t mind the view.

It was overall a calm night, minus Izzy’s nosy questioning. The room was dark, even with the moon hanging high above the building. An odd car passing by here or there was the only sound drifting from outside.

Izzy tossed her phone aside, resting her chin on the palms of her hands to stare at him curiously. She arched her eyebrow. “You’re not fucking that art student?”

“I see him hangin’ with you a lot,” Farlan added, rolling the paper with eased practice. “Thought you’d be fuckin’ him at least.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d believe that.” He took another long drag, blowing the smoke through the screen before he said, “He’s not a freshman.”

“A sophomore then, whatever.” Isabel dug in the pocket of her jeans and grabbed her lighter, tossing it to Farlan. “Are you fucking him?”

“Yes. I’m fucking him.”

Levi could make out Farlan’s grin when the lighter flicked to life.

“You better be careful.” Izzy’s voice was stern but he could hear the concern. “He’s dating someone.”

“He’s told me,” he said, stubbing out his cigarette on the windowsill. He grabbed his phone off the charger when the display lit up.

**[received: 1:37 a.m.]**  
**[from: the loser]**  
**wanna help me break in 2 the library**

Levi huffed out a laugh.

**[sent: 1:39 a.m.]**  
**[to: the loser]**  
**um. no?**

He grabbed his sweatshirt and headed out anyway.

\----

“You’re only using me because I have all access to the building.”

He swiped his ID against the scanner and the door unlocked with a click. Eren followed close behind him, a hand sneaking out to clutch the hem of his shirt. His fingers scraped across the small of Levi’s back and he shivered involuntarily.

“Not my fault you’re the fucking loser that works here.”

Levi stopped short and Eren smacked into him, barely avoiding stepping on his heels. He spun around to glare at him.

“Who’s the fucking loser that wants to sneak into _the library_ on a Saturday night?”

“Well,” Eren grinned, stepping close. He slipped his hands into the back pockets of Levi’s jeans and leaned down to rest their foreheads together. There were hickeys on Eren’s neck that Levi hadn’t made. “This is the last place Jean would look for me.”

“You two fighting again?”

Eren shook his head. “We skipped straight to the hate sex.”

His hands snuck up to hang around Eren’s neck. “So, I’m getting the sloppy seconds?”

They slowly made their way over to the stacks, out of sight of the windows. Eren’s eyes were too bright, blinking at Levi like a broken stoplight. Green to go.

“I’m going to break up with him.”

“You always say that.”

Levi’s back hit one of the shelves with a soft thud. He absently noticed they were in the fiction section when one of the books caught his attention. The spine was dark green, the title printed in thin, white script. His hand twitched against the nape of Eren’s neck.

Eren nudged his nose along Levi’s neck, breathing in deeply before he settled on the spot just under his ear. 

The kiss was soft and timid, but when Levi replied by turning his head to open up, Eren smirked against his skin.

\----

The next day during a lull in his work shift, Levi wandered down the aisles. He paused when he found the green book, his finger pressing down the spine. After some hesitation, he pulled it out and held it carefully, like the pages would suddenly crumble in hands that ached with phantom calluses and scars.

He closed his eyes, for a brief and fleeting moment, and remembered Eren on his knees in front of him, with swollen lips, sparkling eyes, and cum dribbling down his chin. When he opened them again, the world titled. Eren was still on his knees in front of him, but now with trembling lips, bleary eyes, and blood dripping from his nose.

The two merged together, Levi’s vision dizzy and swimming. Both called out to him.

“Levi,” they said. It sounded like they were in the middle of a storm near the ocean, like they were screaming, but the sounds were lost in the roars of the waves, carried down the shore by the wind. Close but still far, ringing in his head, echoing in the hollow of his chest.

The book – his book, the one he wrote in another lifetime, the one about nightmares that plagued him from a life long past – dropped to the floor.

“Levi?”

He flinched when a hand clapped on his shoulder. Eren was looking at him, concern furrowing his brows.

“You okay? You seem like you’re on a wild acid trip right now.”

Levi swallowed, steadied himself, and masked his expression.

“I’m not stupid enough to take acid while I’m on the clock.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Eren teased, grinning up at him when he leaned down to pick up the book. When he stood, he stared at the cover for a while, biting his lip before holding it back out to Levi. “I used to love this as a kid. Saved up my allowance money to buy my own copy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Eren’s hand came up to rub the back of his neck. Levi wondered if it was subconscious, out of embarrassment, or if he was feeling sharp pains from old ghosts.

The words came out before he realized.

“I’m sorry.” He looked from Eren to the book, shakily putting it back in its place. “I never wanted to.”

Eren sucked in a breath. He went to reach out, but paused, his hand stilling in the space between them.

“You never wanted to what?”

“Make promises I couldn't keep.”

\----

Jean put a bakery box on the desk in front of him. 

“He likes chocolate cupcakes. And purple flowers. He hates roses. He got sick at Burger King once so never go there, he likes Taco Bell better anyway.”

Levi clicked his pen and asked, “Why are you telling me this?”

“I broke up with him.” Jean brought his fist up to his heart, deliberately, and looked him in the eyes. “I spent three lifetimes with him, and I’ve never seen him smile like the way he does when he talks about you.”

His heart was pounding in his ears. The whole room was buzzing with white static as Jean saluted him.

He could barely speak, his voice too breathy when he said, “You remember?”

“We both do.” He dropped his hand and adjusted the backpack on his shoulders. “And as bravely suicidal as Eren is, he was scared to ask if you remembered.”

The silence that fell between them felt awkward. Levi didn’t know what to say, _thank you_ , maybe, but it didn’t feel like enough, didn’t even begin to express what he wanted to say. What was the right thing to say in a situation like this?

“You two are happier together anyway.” _He doesn’t love me_ , hung silently in the air, _not like he loves you_. “Mikasa’s not here to threaten you, so I will. Don’t hurt him.”

“I won’t.”

Jean tapped his knuckles on the desk and turned to leave.

“I hope you find that boy you loved,” Levi said, finally. “Marco.”

Jean’s face pinched, before softening into a smile. “Thank you, Captain.”

It was the right thing to say.

\----

“Fuck.” Eren tugged on his hair, eyes blinking back tears as his shoulders shook. “Jean was right. You remembered? This whole time? This whole life?”

“Every life,” he whispered, tugging Eren’s wrist, knocking their foreheads together. “I looked for you. And when I couldn’t find you, I wrote.”

“Captain-“

“It’s a little too late for formalities.” Eren’s eyelashes tickled his skin. “I’m not your superior anymore. I’m just-”

“Levi.” Eren kissed him. “Just Levi.”

\----

“Want to see my prom picture?

They were huddled under blankets. The window was wide open, letting the cold air sweep into the room while Levi chain-smoked. Eren’s fingers were covered in orange dust from the Cheetos he was eating, and Levi had to elbow his side every time he went to wipe his hands on the sheets.

“Yeah, is it on facebook?”

“Nope.” He leaned across Levi and grabbed his wallet from where he left it on the desk. When he settled back down again, he opened the soft leather and tugged out a small photo from one of the slits. “Here,” he said, holding it out.

It was a group photo. Eren had his arms around some girl with blonde hair. Jean was doing the same with Mikasa. They looked happy, relaxed, if Eren’s smile was anything to go by.

“Who’s that?” he asked, pointing to the girl. “She looks vaguely familiar.”

“That’s Annie. She was the female titan.”

Levi blinked, once, twice– 

“You went to fucking prom with the female titan?”

“No, no!” Eren laughed, taking the photo back. “Mikasa went to prom with her, and I went to prom with Jean, but Jean’s parents are super conservative so we pretended, for his sake, that were all straight. Surprisingly, they believed it.”

“Okay, so now explain to me why the picture is a little worn and hiding in your wallet.” He ran his finger over the edge, peeking up at Eren. “Did you use it for masturbation material or something? Some weird foursome incest kink you’re not telling me about?”

“It’s the last photo I took with Mikasa,” he said and then turned to fucking beam at Levi. He wanted to melt into the floor, he really did, but Eren added, “And before you try to stutter out an apology, _it’s okay_. It was a few years ago, I’m… okay now. To be honest, if it wasn’t for the accident, Jean and I wouldn’t have flown across the country for college. I never would have met you.”

“I should thank her, then.”

“How about over the holiday? We can say hi to Mikasa, make out in the cemetery, be fucking emo. Then get high and then spend Thanksgiving with my parents?”

“ _Oh my god_ –”

“I know, I’m getting ahead of myself, I’m sorry,” Eren said, “maybe–”

“No, fuck, what is this?” Levi laughed, grabbing the photo again. “You had fucking braces?”

Eren’s ears burned, his cheeks flaming red. He flicked the frame of Levi’s glasses. “Shut up.”

“Guess everything’s not so perfect this time around, huh? No healing and regenerating?” He smirked, pressing a kiss below Eren’s ear. “If I kicked you in the face again, would your tooth grow back?”

“Look, I’m up for all sorts of kinks, but I draw the line at you beating the shit out of me,” Eren laughed too. Levi could get used to hearing that. He’d make sure he heard it, make up for all the times he didn’t hear it.

They met for a kiss. Levi rolled to straddle his waist, settling on Eren’s hips. Slowly, he reached out and ran his fingers along Eren’s throat. Eren didn’t move, laid perfectly still, waiting.

“Does it ever hurt?” he whispered, nails raking down his skin, dipping into the curve of his collarbone.

“No, the back of my neck does sometimes.” He lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers, “or my thumb. What about you?”

“My leg, occasionally. The nightmares hurt more.”

They were silent for a while, Levi tracing shapes on Eren’s skin, like he was painting unspoken words and promises, one that he couldn’t say before, when they lived in a different world. Now, though, in this world, he could say it, without hesitance or consequence.

“I love you.”

In this world, Eren could say it back.

“I love you, too, Levi.”

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me on [tumblr](https://i-am-verybusy.tumblr.com)


End file.
